The Broken Hearts

By Harriet Young

The broken hearts by Harriet young short story

Blood appears black in the moonlight. Don’t ask me how I know that. There are many things I’ve done and many things I’ve seen that I’d prefer not to tell you. But I suppose, now I’m here, that I should share.

It is freeing, in a way, to be able to tell you anything. To feel like I can tell you anything. I trust you. I haven’t trusted many people in my life, but you – I feel like we have a connection. Don’t you?

So, where to begin? I suppose you want to know everything, don’t you? Perhaps I should start with my childhood. How little there is to tell about that though. I was a loner – I imagine you guessed that already, from how I am now. An only child, distant parents. I can’t pretend that my difficulties, the trials and tribulations I’ve felt during my life, haven’t stemmed from then. In fact, until I found you, I was drifting. I had no anchor, despite my wealth. Oh, how I do now!

No, don’t worry, my parents weren’t cruel. But I can’t say that they showed me love either. They were busy, I felt like an afterthought. I found my own ways to entertain myself. I won’t bore you with them, ordinary childhood things that they were. Games.

I went to University a year early. I always was bright, but numbers come naturally to me. I was confused by how others struggled in those lessons, perhaps that goes some way to explain my lack of friends. I hoped things would be different at Oxford University. Surely there, there would be people like me?

As you know, I was disappointed. They had all of the benefits of a socialised childhood and they gathered in groups that I couldn’t infiltrate. I just didn’t know how – they weren’t like me. Instead, I went from lecture to lecture, head down, books in hand, talking to no one. I was invisible. I kept my eyes on the ground and studied in my room. I spoke to no one and no one spoke to me and that was that.

This may sound like I want your pity. I don’t. You know that since then, my life has become an apparent success. I have friends, fans even. My money. Status. But I’ve always wanted more. I’ve always been hungry for more. Now that we’re together, I’m content. You have changed that side of me, at least.

Yes, I know why we are here, having this conversation. Yes, I can tell what that expression on your face means. You want more. Well. I don’t know whether delving any deeper would be helpful. You already seem disappointed in me. What can I do? It is more difficult than it seems, peeling back the layers. As painful as removing a layer of skin. I’ll try. I’m flattered that you want to learn more about me. I feel there is something I’m missing though, something urgent that you want. You are tense. But you feel as though you can’t ask. Ok, that’s fine. I want you to believe in me.

A heart is like an apple, you know. When it’s healthy and happy it is fresh and juicy and red – filled to bursting. Have you ever bitten into an apple and left it on the side? Straight away it starts to wilt, brown, rot. There’s no healing it. That’s my experience, anyway. Give it an hour or two and there’s nothing you can do to save it, you may as well just toss it in the bin.

You could say that’s been my life’s work.

You don’t get the connection? You look confused, but trust me, it is a good metaphor. I can see your micro expressions now, flitting across your face, you are struggling to understand. It will become clear. I want what you want – I want the two of us to be happy and I want you to know me. I know that’s important for us to move forward.

Shall we move on to your reservations about me? I can see that you have them. People have had reservations about since I was a child. Perhaps it’s something about the way I hold myself. I’m so used to being alone that others sense that they are unnecessary around me, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I need you as much as you need me. I’m sorry that I can’t be different.

Perhaps talking about my career will help. You know that I’m successful and – well, you’ve seen my office. You perhaps don’t know quite how hard I had to work to build my company. From the ground up. Starting with nothing – no loans, just a computer in my bedroom. Am I proud of what I’ve achieved? Yes, of course I am. Wouldn’t you be? I’m sorry, I don’t mean to undermine your own career. I know you work hard. But yes, to get to the bottom of what you want to know, I did trample on people on my way up. To be a success, you have to. Kind people don’t get anywhere in this life. Oh, I don’t mean that in a derogatory way, but you understand – to make millions, to become a someone, you have to stand on top of a pile of bodies. Excuse my crude phrasing. It was harder for me than those Eton boys with their connections readymade. I had to rely on pure talent and guts. You think I’m cold, and I don’t deny it. But you can see why I would be, with a life like mine.

Now I’m confused because you still seem to want more from me. There are no more relevant things that I can share about my life. I said it was freeing to be able to tell you anything and I stand by that, but your reaction is frankly quite disappointing. You have a strange look on your face. What is that look? If you came closer to me, maybe I would be able to decipher it. As it is, I am drawn to your glinting eyes in this gloomy room.

I see what you want. I understand now. You want to know about my past relationships. Are you alright? I noticed a subtle change in you. This is what you were waiting for. Well, I’m afraid there’s really nothing to tell you. I have never been much of a one for long relationships. They don’t tend to work for me.

I know that’s not the answer you wanted to hear.

***

Interview adjourned at 13.49. The accused remains unwilling to disclose the locations of the other bodies.

*

Glorious Neutral Spines

White books with flowers

Bright, light books should grace everyone’s shelves. These are six of my particular favourites. The Wuthering Heights and Pride & Prejudice are part of the glorious Thomas Nelson Seasons Paper Cut series. These fall under winter – the summer set is available for preorder now. They are some of the most gorgeously intricate designs I’ve ever seen. Also included are my incredibly special Anna Karenina and the Knickerbocker Jules Verne collection.

Here’s where you can find them (starting from the bottom):

Jules Verne – The Ultimate Collection

Anna Karenina

Wuthering Heights

Pride & Prejudice

The Beautiful and Damned

Romeo and Juliet

Purple Florals

Beautiful purple books

Late spring is perhaps my favourite time of year. The anticipation of summer and long, warm days ahead, bright flowers bursting onto the scene and chirruping birds. Throw in some glorious sunshine and I don’t think you can beat it.

This is the mood I was trying to convey with this image. Here are the links to the books that I featured (starting from the bottom):

Jane Austen: The Complete Novels

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

Jane Eyre

Madame Bovary

Persuasion

Civilization and It’s Discontents

Pink and Purple Pastel Books

Pink and purple pastel books

Ah, this is one of my favourite photos that I’ve taken in a long time. I love the colours, they remind me of spring. Here’s where you can find the books to brighten up your bookcase. They’re a variety of publishers and editions, and I’ve done my best to locate them all for you. Here they are, from bottom up:

Little Women (Leatherbound)

Jane Austen Complete Novels

Middlemarch

Little Women (Flexibound)

Persuasion

Jane Eyre

The Singer not the Song

Civilization and Its Discontents

And my floral bone china tea cup is here.

I hope you enjoy these beautiful books as much as I do.

Beautiful Black Books

Black books and espresso cup

These four black books contain some of my favourite works. The one novel – Dracula – is close to the top of my list of classics I enjoy the most. It is always a delight to read (and the recent BBC adaptation was a delight to watch – amazing for binging!). The other three books contain short stories and novellas from some of the very best authors. The Flame Tree short stories in particular are fantastic value for money.

Here’s where I got them from:

Haunted House Short Stories

Classic Works From Women Writers – currently only £12.99

Dracula

F. Scott Fitzgerald Classic Works

I’m struggling to find anywhere that is stocking my little espresso cup, but the mug version is here. I picked my cups up in a Manchester library.

I’d love to hear from you if you decide to get any of these books!

Barnes and Noble Leatherbound Editions

Barnes and Noble Leatherbound books

I don’t think I actually need to say a word. These books are glorious. Barnes and Noble leatherbound books are the epitome of beauty for me. These special editions look gorgeous on my bookshelf, are a pleasure to read and would make amazing gifts. In fact, I regularly give friends and family these editions as presents. They always go down well!

Here are the ones I own. Enjoy:

F. Scott Fitzgerald Classic Works

Dracula

The Count of Monte Cristo

The Arabian Nights

War and Peace

Aesop’s Illustrated Fables

Tales of Mystery and Imagination – not the exact edition but similar.

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

Little Women

Anna Karenina

I hope you enjoy getting your collection started!

Purple Penguin Clothbound Classics

Purple penguin clothbound classics

Everything about clothbound classics is pleasing to the eye, and these purple ones are no exception. I love all of these books, but Madame Bovary is a particular favourite. I’m due a reread soon! Otherwise, the magic of the language in Jabberwocky is something else, and Wide Sargasso Sea is one of the cleverest retellings I’ve come across.

Here’s where you can get these books:

Madame Bovary

Jabberwocky

Wide Sargasso Sea

The espresso cup was from a charity shop.